The Story of You and Me
by that is secret
Summary: Dead Man on Campus. A Josh x Cooper one-shot; Josh muses on how it all came to be.


Disclaimer: I warn slash, a.k.a. boy-love. You no flame about slash because I warn you. You flame, flames all go feed evil demon-kitty by name of Poe. Poe like flames. Mrrrow.   
  
A/N: Something I wrote to (attempt to) get myself out of a writer's block. As such, it probably bites. *listens to the gnashing of teeth*  
  
Josh's POV, talking about himself in the third person in true Dead Man on Campus style.   
  
"The Story of You and Me"  
  
Once upon a time, there was a boy named Josh. He was a very intelligent fellow, and everyone had high expectations of him. So, Josh became a perfectionist. He studied extremely hard - he even pulled all-nighters for worthless quizzes. If anyone needed help in any subject, they came to Josh.  
  
And because of all his work, Josh made it into a six-year medical program on a full scholarship. All he had to do to keep the scholarship was maintain a B+ or higher average, and Josh knew that he had the brains and the dedication to do that with ease. Therefore, he took the hardest classes he possibly could.   
  
Everyone still had high expectations of him. His grandmother did, his parents, his high school friends, his classmates, and especially his ex-girlfriend that he dumped because she took too much time away from his studies. The only person that didn't was his new roommate, Cooper. Cooper didn't care about studying and, in fact, had never studied once in his life. Cooper just wanted to party, and he decided that his roommate had to party too.  
  
Josh tried to resist. He really did. But then he got laid, and he decided that partying was much, much better than studying. Cooper grinned, because his best friend was now going to party like crazy, just like he did. Over beers and bongs, the two boys became the closest of friends. Nothing could seperate them: they were Josh'n'Cooper, the boys down the hall.   
  
Unfortunately, this shot both of their grades to hell and back. Josh got F's on all his midterms; Cooper had never showed up to even one class, so he had zeroes all the way through. If they were to stay in school, they needed help - and quick. Luckily for them, a man in the bar told them about a loophole. If their roommate committed suicide, they (as grieving roommates) would get straight A's.   
  
Now, it was on the for the quest for the perfect suicidal roommate.  
  
And it was a quest. First, they spied on people. When their hallmates found them, they tried to run off - and ended up tripping into a big heap. Their roommates then decided they were gay and making out behind the bushes, and it was the beginning of Josh'n'Cooper, the "gay" boys down the hall. Of course, they weren't really gay. However, this did make it difficult for Josh to look at Cooper the same way again, and he found himself, to his misery, developing a crush on his wild roommate.   
  
They found a maniac, by the name of Cliff. Said maniac turned out very, very badly - not suicidal badly, mind you. Just. . . badly. Josh and Cooper would've died themselves before getting caught in another high-speed police chase. So, they decided to find another roommate. Josh's guy, The Paranoid Boy, didn't turn out well either. The Paranoid Boy eventually decided that Josh and Cooper were out to get him - sound reasoning, in a way. They really only wanted him to get himself.  
  
Finally, they found a suicidal British rocker. It seemed perfect. The problem was, the suicidal British rocker wasn't really suicidal, secretly preferred showtunes, and wasn't even *British*, god dammit! It looked like a complete failure.  
  
And lo, a plan came to Josh's mind. If he were to pretend that he was going to jump off the bridge. . . would they send a suicidal man out of college? Or his roommate and best friend? It was simple for him: walk up, make a commotion, come down, perfect ending. And if he slipped and fell, he didn't really care. Everything was pretty much worthless anyways - after all, he was failing miserably and was going to flunk out soon. The only good thing in his life was Cooper. The Cooper that he still had a crush on.  
  
So Josh climbed, and Cooper was lazing around campus when he heard his friend was on the bridge. So he came running, and coaxed Josh down. They hugged, and Josh whispered his plan into Cooper's ear. Cooper's reply was "you. . . you. . . magnificent *bastard*!" Although he was pleased about not flunking out, Cooper had said some things out loud that he really would have rather not said.   
  
Everything went back to normal. Except, of course, for the fact that they both got odd and random nightmares from the whole ordeal. Most involved Josh actually falling off the bridge or Cliff coming back from the dead. One night Cooper couldn't sleep, and he asked Josh if he could sleep in his bed. Josh, of course, didn't mind at all. Cooper snuggled up, and ended up kissing Josh. Josh kissed him back. Only God knows how it happened exactly, but the two boys ended up fucking each other silly. Now they really were Josh'n'Cooper, the gay boys down the hall. However, they kept this to themselves. Sort of. Everyone thought they were gay anyways, they just decided to "play the part" - very enthusiastically.   
  
Somehow, they both graduated. Josh became an ER doctor, and Cooper decided that writing books and selling medical marijuana to Josh's patients was quite preferable to cleaning toilets for his father's company. They moved to California. Some nights, Josh would come home and they would both be too tired to even talk before falling into bed, asleep. Other times, they were back in that cramped little dorm room, still the boys down the hall. . . playing, exploring, loving.   
  
And that's the story of you and me.   
  
*el fin*  
  
:::give us a call!::: 


End file.
